Kitna Baybus Hai Insaan

Kitna Baybus Hai Insaan Qismat K Aagay
Her Sapna Toot Jata Hai Haqeqat K Aagay
Jis Ne Kabhi Jhukna Nahi Sekha Duniya Main
Wo Bhi Jhuk Jata Hai BEGUM K Aagay…

Wife: Shadi ke pehle

Wife: Shadi ke pehle to tum mujhe rof gift diya karte they,
ab kyun nahi dete?
Husband: Machhali pakdne ke baad bhi kya koi chara dalta hai!

Position of a husband

Position of a husband is just like a Split AC…
No matter how loud he is outdoor,
He is designed to remain silent indoor!

Husband: can u be the moon of my life?

Husband: can u be the moon of my life?
Wife: Awww Yes sweetheart..!
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Husband: Great! then….
Stay 9,955,887.6 kms away from Me..!!

Everyone Helps A Girl In Removing Her Dress During Before Sex.

Everyone Helps A Girl In Removing Her Dress During Before Sex.

But Never Helps Her In Putting Her Dress Back On, After Sex.

Moral: Once You Are Fucked, Nobody Helps You.

Pareshan Biwi For Sex

Pati Ke Sex Na Karne Ki Wajah Se Pareshani Biwi Ek Din Pati Se Chidd Ke Boli.
Biwi: “Maine Aaj Ek Magzine Mein Pada Hai Ke Ek Saand Saal Mein 300 Bar Sex Karta Hai, Lekin Tum Is Ka 10% Bhi Nahi Karte”
Pati Ne Pyar Ke Uske Gaal Pe Chunti Maarte Hue Kaha.
Pati: “Bilkul Sahi Hai, Par Ye Kahaan Likha Hai Ki Saand Ek Hi Cow Ke Saath 300 Bar Sex Karta Hai.“

Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?

Wife: Kya kar rahe ho? Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu. Wife: Kitni mari? Man: 3 male aur 2 female. Wife: Kaise malum? Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se...

Apni girlfriend Ke Sath Date Pe Ho,

Apni girlfriend Ke Sath Date Pe Ho,

Par Chahte Ho Ki Khaane Peene Mein Faltu Ka Kharcha Na Ho

To Us Se Puchho: Kya Khaayegi Moti?

Thodi Si Gaaliyan Milengi Par Kasam Se Paise Jaroor Bach Jayenge.

Ladka: Janeman iss dil mein aaja.

Ladka: Janeman iss dil mein aaja.

Ladki: Sandal nikalu kya?

Ladka: Pagli mandir thodi hi hai, aise hi aaja!!

Sagaai hui... Shadi Hui...

Sagaai hui... Shadi Hui...

Biwi ghar main aayi...

ghar SWARG ban gaya...

aur main...SWARGWASI...

Shaadi main ek SMART ladka ladki se:

Shaadi main ek SMART ladka ladki se: aap dance karogi :)) . .

Ladki sharma k boli: "yes ..." . . . .

Ladka pyar se bola: . . . . To phir aapki "kursi" main le jaon behenji ..??

Husband Or Wife Me Jhagra Ho Gaya

Husband Or Wife Me Jhagra Ho Gaya To Wife Ne Apni Maa Ko Fone Kiya:

Ammi Mera Unse Jaghra Ho Gaya He Me 3, 4 Maah K Liye Aap K Ghar Aa Rahi Hun

Maa Boli: Usey Apne Kiye Ki Saza Puri Puri Milni Chahiye
Tum Wahin Raho 3, 4 Mahine K Liye Me Aa Rahi Hon...

"CHAPPAL" Choti Ho Jai "PAOWN" Mai Nhi Ati.

"CHAPPAL" Choti Ho Jai "PAOWN" Mai Nhi Ati.

Wah Wa Wa

"CHAPPAL" Choti Ho Jai "PAOWN" Mai Nai Ati.


B.V "MOTI" Ho Jai
"BAAHON" Mai Nai Ati.. ;->
Wah Wah Wah...

Wife Shoping Kr K Wapis Ayi

Wife Shoping Kr K Wapis Ayi To Husbnd Wife Se Saman Laite Hoye Bola:zaror Tm Mere Khane K Lye Kch Lai Hogi?

Wife: Bilkul Thek Kaha Isme Mere New Sandel Hen ;->

Class 2 Ke Bache Ne Taecher Se Poocha...

Class 2 Ke Bache Ne Taecher Se Poocha...
Hamari Umar Ke Bacho ko Bacha Ho Sakta Hai
TEACHER: NO
Boy to Girl: Tu Aise Hi Gabra Rehi Hai.. :-)

Do Dost Red Light Area Gaye.

Do Dost Red Light Area Gaye.
1 Dost Call Girl Ke Room Mein Gaya,
Bahar Aa Kar Bola, Is Se Aachi Ton Meri Wife Hai.
Phir 2 Dost Call Girl Ke Room Mein Gaya,
Bahar Aa Kar Bola, Ha Yaar Is Se Aachi Ton
Teri Wife hi Hai ;)

Teacher: Bacho batao k billi 1 sath itnay

Teacher: Bacho batao k billi 1 sath itnay
saray bachay kaisay paida karti hay?
Kid: Miss agar aap road pay billi ki
tarah ghoomo to aap ko pata chal jayega…

Santa knocks the door

Santa knocks the door
.
Banta:”kaun hai ??
.
Santa:”mai hoon
.
Banta:”mai kaun ??
.
.
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.
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Santa:
“le abe pagal khud ko hi bhool gaya tu banta…

Jab Koi Sms Ni Krta.

Jab Koi Sms Ni Krta.
Itna Gussa Ata H.
Dil To Chahta H,
.
.
.
Chapal Utar K
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.
.
Aram Se Baith Jau Or
Sochu Sayad Bhejna Nhi Ata Hoga.

Light jane k baad candle leke pappu toilet ja rahatha

Light jane k baad candle leke pappu toilet ja rahatha
kai kambakhat phook marke keh gaya
Happy birthday 2 u
Batao yaar Emergency ke wqt bhi mazak

1PagaL Aaina Dekh K Sochne Laga

1PagaL Aaina Dekh K Sochne Laga
Esko Kahi Dekha H
Thodi Der Sochne K Baad
“O Teri ” Ye To Wohi H
.
.
Jo Mere Sath Us din BaaL Ktwa Raha Tha

Biwiya

Biwiya
aati hai HEER ki tarah.
Lagti hai KHEER ki tarah.
Phir chubhti hain TEER ki tarah.
Aur aakhir mein Halaat
Kar deti hai FAKEER ki
tarah…

Husband:rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi,

Husband:rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi, 1 chudeil kabhi mere age
kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,
Wife:Kaun si movie thi?
Husband:Apni shadi ki

Man was fucking Nurse.

Man was fucking Nurse.
Nurse chilayee dard ho ra hey.
Man:Bhenchod khud wahan injection Lagati hai
Jahan sorakh hi nahi
aur tujhe sorakh me dard ho raha hey

Bus Mein Jaghe Na Hone Par, Ek Budhe Ne Ek Ladki Ko Kaha

Bus Mein Jaghe Na Hone Par, Ek Budhe Ne Ek Ladki Ko Kaha
Uncle: “Beta Aao Meri Godh Mein Beth Jao”
Ladki: “Yeh Lo Uncle Ji”
Aur Ladki Godh Mein beth Gayi, Thodi Der Baad Ladki Jhatke Se Uthi Or Boli
Ladki: “Uncle Ya Toh Uss Ko Bitha Lo Ya Fir Mujh Ko“

A naked lady goes to Banta's bar

A naked lady goes to Banta's bar, asks for a peg. Banta stares at her. Lady said, "Never seen a nude woman?"
Banta replied, "Nahi main soch raha hoon, tu paise kaha se nikalegi." , asks for a peg. Banta stares at her. Lady said, "Never seen a nude woman?"
Banta replied, "Nahi main soch raha hoon, tu paise kaha se nikalegi."

Sardar Ko Ladies Garments Shop Mein

Sardar Ko Ladies Garments Shop Mein Salesman Ki Naukri Mili.
Ek Ladki Aayi Aur Kaha:Underwear Dikhao.
Sardar(Sharmate Hue):Aaj Nahi Pehna

Baccha: Madam,Jalta hua balb

Madam: kya cheej muh mein nahi leni chahiye
Baccha: Madam,Jalta hua balb
Madam: kyun?
Baccha: Kal raat mummy papa se kah rahi thi ki
bulb bhuja do to mai  muh mein lungi

Shadi ke doran ladki boli -

Shadi ke doran ladki boli -
Suno ji
ajj se AAPKE bina mai nahi
aur MERE bina aap nahi.
4 Saal baad wohi bivi:
kutte! Ruk ja!
Aaj yaaa tu nahi ya mein nahi!

Wife (Aasman Me Taare Dekhte Hue):

Wife (Aasman Me Taare Dekhte Hue):
Batao Woh Kaunsi Chiz Hai
Jo Tum Roz Dekh Sakte Ho
Par Laa Nahi Sakte?
Husband: Main Nahi Bataunga.
Wfe: Bolo Naa Plz.
Hsbnd: "Hamari Padosan.

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means…Without Information Fighting Everytime! WIFE: No, it means – With Idiot for Ever

Wife to husband in the middle of the nigh

Wife to husband in the middle of the night: There’s a thief in the house eating the cake I made. Husband: Whom should I call? The police or the ambulance?

Pati Ghar Aya To Biwi Ne Ghabrate Hue Kaha

Pati Ghar Aya To Biwi Ne Ghabrate Hue Kaha
Biwi: Shukar Hai Aap Sahi Salaamat Ghar Waapis Aa Gaye
Pati Ne Hairan Hote Hue Puchha: Kyu, Kya Ho Gaya?
Biwi: Bahar Kuch Log Kah Rahe They Ki Koi Chutiya Daru Pee Ke Gatar Mein Gir Gaya Hai

Raat Bhar Sex Karne Ke Baad Ek Thaki Aurat

Raat Bhar Sex Karne Ke Baad Ek Thaki Aurat Subha Pados Ke Hakeem Ke Pass Gayi Aur Boli
Aurat: Hakeem Sahab, Mere Pati Ko Sex Ki Goli Tumne Di Thi Na?
Hakeem Khush Hote Hue: Haan
Aurat: To Sale, Biwi Bhi Fir Apni Hi Deni Thi Na

Santa: Meri wife mujhe naukar samajhne lagi hai

Santa: Meri wife mujhe naukar samajhne lagi hai
batao main kya karun?
Banta: Karna kya hai,
2-4 ghar aur pakad aur apna dhandha jama le.

Teri biwi mere kabze mein hai

Kidnapper phone par:
Teri biwi mere kabze mein hai.
saboot ke taur par uski do ungliyan bhijwa di hain.
Santa: Sabut pakka nahi hai, mundi bhej mundi..

Pappu Papa se Bola:

Pappu Papa se Bola:
Papa shadi ke liye kitne paise chukane padte hai?
Papa: Pata nahi.
main to abhi tak chuka raha hu.

Wife on Mobile: kaha ho aap?

Wife on Mobile: kaha ho aap?
Pati: Tumhe wo jwellry shop yaad hai jaha tumhe 1 diamond ka set bahut pasand aya tha,
par mere pas paise nahi they.
aur maine wada kiya tha 1 din dilwaunga.
Wife: Khush hote huye.. Ha ha mjhe sab yaad hai.
Pati: Ha to usi shop ke baju wali shop pe baal katwa raha hu.

Pagal Kuch Bhi Ker Sakta hai

Wife: If I die what will u do?

Husband: Main paagal ho jaun ga!

Wife: Will u marry again after I die?

Husband: Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai.

Dekha Hai Esa Jhagda Pahle Kabhi?

Ek Baar Santa  Or Uski Wife Mein Jhagda Ho Gaya.
Santa Apni Wife Se Jhagda Karte Hue Gusse Se Bola.
Santa: “Mera Dil Chahta Hai, Ke Mein Tera Khoon Pee Jao.”
Wife: “Toh Pehle Batana Tha Na, Ab To Periods Bhi Khatam Ho Gaye Hai.“

Patni With The Feeling Of ---

Ek Patni Apne Pati Se Puchti Hai: “Suno Ji In Kutton Ko Kaise Pata Chalta Hai Ki Kutiya Ka Mann Ker Raha Hai?”
Pati: “Unhe Soongh Kar Pata Chalta Hai”

Patni Gusse Se Boli: “To Bhonsdi Ke Tujhe Jukaam Hai Kya?“

Arz kiya hai..

.
.

Humne bhi apni duniya basa li..

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.
.

Usne dokha diya.. to uski choti behan phasa li.. :-P

SHRABI:" Agar mere hath me SARKAR ho to me DESH ki takdir badal dunga..
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WIFE:" HAramkhor ­ pehle apna pajama to badal le, subah se meri SALVAR pehan k ghum raha hai...

Made For Each Other Song

Sex Karte Hue Biwi Ko Shaq Hua Ki
Bacha Jaag Raha Hai,
Biwi Ne Husband Ko Bola To Usne
Bache Ko Doosre Kamre Mein Lita
Diya,
Sex Karne Ke Baad Jab Husband
Vapis Bache Ko Lene Gaya To Dekha
Ki Bachha Mutth Mar Raha Hai
Husband Gusse Se: “ Oyee, Ye Kya
Kar Raha Hai Tu? ”
Bachha Guuse Se Bola: “ Apna Kaam
Apne Haath Se Kar Raha Hu, Apni
Khushi Ke Liye Kisi Ki Maa Nahi
Chod Raha.

Husband ko Market Jaate hue Wife ne paise dekar kaha: Kuchh Aisi Cheez Laana jis se main SUNDAR Dikhu...

Husband khud ke Liye Whisky ki 2 Bottle Le Aaya !!

Girl to Boy -
.
Girl :- Chand kahan hai ??
.
Boy :- Chand 2 Hain ek
Chanda mama Aur dusri tum .
.
Girl - Awww how
Sweet .
.
AFTER MARRIAGE. .
.
Wife :- Chand kahan
hai.....??
.
.
Husband - Andhi hai
kya.....??
Wo upar kya tera Baap CFL lekar betha hai...??

Wife: Look At that drunker.
Husband: Who is he ?
Wife: 10yrs back he proposed me I rejected him
Husband: Oh my god, he is still celebrating...!

Kaamwali ne pagaar badhane ke liye
kaha.
Lady: "Kyo badhaau?"
Kaamwali: "Bibiji, 3 reasons hai.
1st, mai aap se behtar kapde press karti
hu."
Lady: "Ye kaun bola?"
Kaamwali: "Saahab bole.
2nd reason, mai aap se behtar khana
banaati hu."
Lady: "Ye kaun bola?"
Kaamwali: "Saahab bole.
Aur
3rd reason ye ki SEX me aap se jyada
maja deti hu."
Lady (gusse me chilla ke): "Kya ye bhi
Saahab bole?"
Kaamwali: "Nahi bibiji, ye baat to aap ka
driver bola".. =)).
Lady: kitni pagaar chahiye bolo.. ???

Sohar 1st night: Tm ny kbi koi gndi film dakhi h?
wife: Han
sohar: Bas ham ne phr wise hi krna hay
Wife:To baqi 2 larkay tm bulao gay ya ma cal kron?

Wife : Where did you get these lipstick spots ?
Husband : I am amazed myself where how I got these spots ?
I was not wearing shirt at that time

Wife to Husband : I am the book of your life …
Husband : This is what I regret…
If you were a calender then could have changed one every year !

Wife Saw Sign Board:
Nylon Saree
Rs.8/-
Cotton Saree
Rs.5/-
Banarsi Saree
Rs.10/-
Wife: Give me Rs.500 I’ll buy 50 Sarees.
Husband: You dumbo.. its a laundry shop ..!

How men feels while driving with Wife??

A woman was preparing eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband came into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter!

Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once.


TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!

We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?

They're going 2 STICK !Careful.. !

CAREFUL!

I said be CAREFUL!

You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking!

Never! Turn them!

Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?

Have you LOST your mind?

Don't forget to salt them.

You know you always forget that. Use the salt. USE THE SALT!
THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him.

"What is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving." :P :D

Shaadi nahi aasaan bus itna samajh lijiye…
.
.
.
k intox ki goli hai aur choos k khani hai.
Dedicated 2 all unmarried boyz & girlz…

Punjabi Husband 'n Wife fighting by Gudo

एक बार एक प्रेमी जोड़े की आपस में शादी हो जाती है तो शादी के कईं साल बाद एक दिन अचानक अपने पति से पूछती है, " सुनो जी, क्या तुम आज भी मुझे उतना ही प्यार करते हो जितना शादी से पहले करते थे?"

पति: हाँ हाँ जानू?

पत्नी: तो फिर जैसे शादी से पहले आप मेरे लिए रोज गिफ्ट लाते थे, अब क्यों नहीं लाते?

पति: कभी तुमने किसी मछुआरे को मछली पकड़ने के बाद उसे दाना डालते हुए देखा है?

पत्नी से मंदिर के बाहर पति बोला,"तुम यहीं रुक जाओ मैं दर्शन कर के आ जाता हूँ"।

पत्नी: क्यों? मुझे भी दर्शन करने हैं मैं भी आउंगी।

पति: अरे वो तो ठीक है पर मंदिर का भी कोई नियम कायदा है।

पत्नी: अच्छा वो कौनसा कायदा है जो मेरे मंदिर जाने पर पाबंदी लगाता है?

पति: वो देखो सामने बोर्ड पे साफ़ साफ़ लिखा हुआ है कि विस्फोटक सामग्री को अन्दर ले जाना मना हैं, तो मैं तुम्हें कैसे ले जाऊ"।

पति: जब मैं सूट पहनकर सब्जी लेने जाता हूं, तो दुकानदार मुझे सब्जी महंगी देता है और जब मैं मैला कुर्ता-पाजामा पहनकर जाता हूं तो सब्जी सस्ती मिलती है।

पत्नी: तब तो तुम हाथ में कटोरा लेकर जाया करो सब्जी मुफ्त में मिल जाया करेगी।

पत्नी: सुनो जी अखबार में खबर है कि एक व्यक्ति ने अपनी पत्नी को बेच डाला ?

पति: ओह! कितने में?

पत्नी: एक साइकिल के बदले में, कहीं तुम भी तो ऐसा नहीं करोंगे।

पति: मैं इतना मूर्ख थोडे ही हूं, तुम्हारे बदले में तो कार आ सकती हैं।

Wife Photo

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, 'What other problem can there be greater than this one?'

Every wife is a 'Mistress' for her husband.

Every wife is a 'Mistress' for her husband.
'Miss' for one hour and 'Stress' for the 23 hours.

Wedding Blues Truth……

Wedding Blues Truth…….

 

A newly married saves his wife’s number on his mobile as “MY LIFE“;
 

After one year of marriage, it changes to “MY WIFE“;

After Five years of Marriage: “HOME”

after Ten Years “HITLER”
 

and after Silver Anniversary “WRONG NUMBER” …

One girl ask 2 pappu :

One girl ask 2 pappu : woh kia hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain?
pappu : legs
Girl : woh kia hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahi hai?
pappu: paisay
Girl : woh kia hai jo log din main karne k bajaye ko raat bistar pe kartay hain
pappu: neend puri karte hain
girl : woh kia hai jo larki pehli daffa karwate huye pain
ki wajah se roti hai?
pappu : kaan main ched

Dr. k Band Clinic k aage lambi line thi

Dr. k Band Clinic k aage lambi line thi,
1 sardar bar- bar line me ghusta, log usko pakad k pichhe phenk dete,
sardar- Lage raho saalo, mai bhi clinic nahi kholunga.

Love aur arrange marrige me kia farq hai?

Love aur arrange marrige me kia farq hai?
Simple
Love marrige me ap apni girl friend se shadi krte hen..
Aur
Arange marrige me ksi or ki girlfriend se:)